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About Funchal

Then—get this—there’s a “happy accidnet” vibe goin’. One room’s got a busted pipe, water everywhere, and I’m slippin’ like a cartoon drunk. Nearly cracked my skull! Laughed my ass off, tho—ain’t that just life? “Fall teaches us humility,” movie-style. Made me happy, weirdly—reminded me nobody’s perfect, not even brothel plumbing.

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Portugal Brothel · Mistress (soft) · Prostate Massage · Anal Sex · Anal Sex for extra charge · Foot Fetish · Rimming (take) · Role Play and Fantasy · Facesitting.

First off, I had a session with this young footballer, Miguel. Kid’s got talent, but his head? All over the place. We met at the park near the Jardim da Luz. Beautiful spot, by the way. I’m trying to get him to focus, and he’s just staring at the pigeons like they’re the next Ronaldo or something. I’m like, “Dude, focus!” But nah, he’s too busy plotting his next move against the birds. Classic.

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