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About Almada

What gets me happy? When you find one who’s chill, not all strung out, maybe even cracks a joke. Rare as a unicorn, tho. Surprised me once – this gal told me she’s savin’ for art school. Art school! I’m like, “Honey, you’re Picasso with them moves!” Made my night, swear to God. But then, ugh, the angry kicks in – half these jerks try rippin’ you off, actin’ like you’re dumb. Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes, moron!”

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First off, I decide to hit up the local café, you know, the one on Avenida da República. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a bica, and the barista, Maria, gives me that smile. You know the one? The “I’m about to spill your coffee” smile. And guess what? She spills it. All over my new kicks! Ugh! I’m like, “Really, Maria? My shoes didn’t sign up for this!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, accidents happen, but c’mon!

Sluggish sales leave Portugal’s iconic wine producers grappling with sour grapes