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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta Pan’s Labyrinth, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout these apps—swipe this, swipe that—like I’m some kinda mob boss pickin’ who gets whacked. But nah, it’s just chicks and dudes lookin’ for a quick bang or whatever. Drives me nuts, all this fakery! You got profiles shinier than a greased pig, but half the time it’s bullshit—like that faun in the movie promisin’ gold, then bam, you’re screwed.

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After that, I’m spent. I head back to my place, and I’m thinking, “What a rollercoaster!” I plop down on my couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the local theater. He’s like, “Wanna come see a show tonight?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m dead!” But then I think, “Why not? I need a laugh.”

LIGIA TAYLOR Obituary (1939 - 2017) - Somerville, MA - Boston Globe