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Sometimes I’m thinkin’, damn, this shit’s too good—better than sex? Maybe, ha! Sarcasm on deck—half these fools out here callin’ it “massage” but they just pokin’ you like a damn chiropractor on crack. Nope, sexual-massage gotta have soul, that slow grind, makin’ you tingle from head to toe. Exaggeratin’? Shit, I’d say it’s like angels dancin’ on ya back, but I ain’t that corny—yet.

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After that, I decided to hit the beach. Praia da Figueirinha, to be exact. It’s beautiful, man. The water was crystal clear, and the sun was shining. I thought, “Finally, some peace.” But nope! There were kids everywhere, screaming and splashing. I mean, I love kids, but can they not? I just wanted to relax.

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