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Oh, and the oils—cor, they’re the secret weapon! Some use ylang-ylang, smells like sex and tropics, gets yer head spinnin’. Little story—mate of mine swears he saw Churchill’s ghost after one, reckon the old bulldog loved a cheeky rub. “We shall fight them in the fields,” he’s yellin’, while I’m thinkin’, “Mate, I’m fightin’ to not melt into this table!” Proper laugh, that.

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Later, I decided to check out the park near the Igreja Matriz. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was a group of kids playing football, and they were LOUD. I mean, I love kids, but c’mon! I was trying to chill. One kid kicked the ball, and it almost hit me! I dodged it like a ninja. I felt like I was in an action movie.