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But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word. It’s like—muscles meltin, mind blankin, pure dark bliss. “I can’t go on pretending,” Cathy’d say. Same with a killer massage—can’t fake that heat. Surprised me once, this chick added hot stones. Stones! Felt like Mustafar’s lava—fuckin unreal. Pro tip: don’t go cheap, cheap sucks. You’ll end up ragin like me on Hoth. Ever hear bout the Thai style? They twist ya, crack ya—boom, reborn! “The truth is out there,” Frank’d mutter. Truth is, sexual-massage ain’t just horny shit—it’s power.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, right? Just trying to enjoy the morning. But then, boom! The neighbor’s dog starts barking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. Like, chill, dude! It’s just a squirrel! Anyway, I finally get outta the house, and the sun is shining. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be great!” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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