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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I pass by the Mercado Municipal. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m starving! I grab a pastel de nata. Best decision ever. I mean, who can resist that creamy goodness? I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old guy yelling at a vendor. Turns out, he’s mad about the price of olives. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just olives!” But hey, it’s Urgeses. People get passionate about their snacks.