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About Braga

Back in ‘18, heard this wild tale—some Russian scientist, proper brainiac, got catfished on OkCupid by a bot pretending to be a nympho. Lad spent weeks sexting binary code—turns out it was a uni prank! Laughed my arse off, but also—pathetic, right? These apps, they’re a cesspit. Makes me wanna burn the whole digital brothel down. “I’m not a machine,” she says in Ten—ha, but these horny sods are! Tap, tap, bang—repeat. No depth, no fire.

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The inmates were rowdy. I mean, I get it, they’re locked up, but c’mon! I walk in, and there’s this dude, Carlos, trying to start a fight over a game of cards. Like, really? You’re in prison, and you wanna throw hands over poker? I had to step in, and let me tell ya, I was fuming. “Guys, chill! You’re not in a movie!”

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