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But some of ‘em, mate – clever as fuck. One bird I met, she’s bankin’ thousands, got a flat in London, all cash! Says, “I’m my own boss,” and I’m like, fair play, luv! Beats slavin’ in the mines. “Love is an illusion,” Tabu reckons, and she’s livin’ it – no strings, just bling. Made me happy, that did, seein’ her stick it to the man.

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The inmates were rowdy. I mean, I get it, they’re locked up, but c’mon! I walk in, and there’s this dude, Carlos, trying to start a fight over a game of cards. Like, really? You’re in prison, and you wanna throw hands over poker? I had to step in, and let me tell ya, I was fuming. “Guys, chill! You’re not in a movie!”

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