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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”

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Suddenly, I got a call. It was the bakery on Rua da Estação. They had a rat problem too. Great. Just what I needed. I rushed over, and when I got there, the owner was freakin’ out. “They’re eatin’ my pastries!” he yelled. I mean, who wouldn’t be mad? I’d be furious if I found a rat in my pastéis de nata!

Dane County organization helps give human trafficking victims homes