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Here’s the kicker—everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re pros at it. “Oh, baby, you’re the best,” she purrs, while thinking, “This guy’s breath stinks like death.” Reminds me of that "Almost Famous" bit—Lester Bangs ranting, “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share when you’re uncool.” Candy’s uncool as hell—spills her guts to me sometimes, says she hates the gig but loves the cash. Fair trade, I guess.

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Finally, I find a bus stop. I’m waiting, and this bus pulls up. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like fish and a lady who’s blasting music from her phone. I’m just trying to survive here!

Results – CMAS Sport Diving World Championships and World Cup 2024 – Vila Franca de Xira, Portugal