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About Setubal

Aight, so check it—I’ve been on these apps, scrollin’, chasin’ that thrill. You ever notice how folks be lyin’ ‘bout their height? Bruh, 5’9” ain’t 6’2”, stop cappin’! Makes me mad as hell, but then—bam—ya match with a dime, and it’s all “Started from the bottom, now we here.” Happy vibes, ya dig? One time, I linked up with this chick—swore she was a model. Turns out, she catfished me hard—looked like my auntie’s bulldog. I was HEATED, fam! “Who are you? Who sent you?”—straight outta *Caché*, that paranoia hittin’.

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My first client is this dude, João. He’s all stressed about work. I mean, who isn’t? But he starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m sitting there, trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Dude, pull it together!” I mean, I get it, life’s tough, but come on!

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