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Alright, mate, here’s the deal—escort, huh? Not the gig you’d expect me to geek out over, but I’m Elon, so strap in. Thinkin’ bout escorts—cars, babes, or that sweet reusable rocket vibe? Nah, let’s go gritty—hired company, right? Kinda like Groupies in *Almost Famous*, but with less vinyl and more… transactional velocity. “I am a golden god!”—nah, escorts ain’t screaming that from rooftops, but they’ve got stories, man, layers of orbit-level chaos.

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First off, I hit up the café on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee ever! I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, Miguel, gives me this look like, “You again?” LOL. I mean, who doesn’t love caffeine? But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a walking coffee stain. Great start, huh?

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