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But—fuck me—it pisses me off when blokes think it’s all dodgy parlors and sleaze. Nah, mate, it’s art! Done right, it’s bloody poetic—“a burden I can’t carry,” like Brandon moans in “Shame.” Ever tried it? Surprised me first go—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense as a gunfight. Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick, none of that cold crap.

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After the rain stopped, I decided to head to Parque da Devesa. It’s this beautiful park, perfect for a walk. I needed to clear my head. I’m wandering around, and I see this pond. I’m like, “Finally, some peace!” But then, I spot this group of kids throwing bread at the ducks. I mean, come on! Ducks gotta eat too, but not like that! I’m about to give them a lecture on proper feeding practices when one of the kids slips and falls right into the pond. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sorry, not sorry!

hugo correia encircles white concrete church in northern portugal with elliptical rings