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Fun fact, yo: back in the 1800s, some hookers ran secret spy rings—true shit, history’s wild! This one chick, tho, she told me she keeps a diary, scribbles johns’ secrets. Smart as fuck, surprised me, I ain’t lie. I’m like, “You a hustla poet!” She grinned, gold tooth flashin’, pure fire.

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Then, I hit up Rua 1º de Maio. It’s a cute little street, full of shops and stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store selling handmade trinkets. I’m all about supporting local, right? So, I grab this weird ceramic turtle. It’s ugly, but in a cute way. I name it “Turtley McTurtleface.” I’m so proud of my find!

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