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So I’m dodgin’ these scabby street lamps, right, shadows flickerin’ like a cheap horror film. And there she is—some bird leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she’s auditionin’ for a noir porno. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she says, voice like gravel and regret. I’m like, “Yeah, love, but I ain’t thick enough to get skinned alive!”—cackle like a hyena, I do. Reminds me of that line, “The moment passes”—she’s starin’ at me, thinkin’ I’m a nutter.

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After that, I’m wandering down Avenida de São Sebastião. It’s a nice street, you know? Trees, people, life. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day! I look up, and that pigeon’s just staring at me like it owns the place. I’m ready to throw hands with a bird.

Luiz Júnior: “I’m very happy to join Villarreal and play in LALIGA”