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About Amadora

Now, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal—nah, it’s art, mate. Little known fact: ancient Tantric vibes kicked this off, like 5,000 years back. Indians knew the score—energy, release, the lot. Makes me happy as a pig in muck, but lemme tell ya, finding a legit spot? Pissed me off once—some dodgy geezer in Soho tried charging me double, no skill, hands like sandpaper. I was fuming—wanted to say, “You’re a dead man, pal,” but I’m too smooth for that.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s all hyped about this new café on Rua de Évora. I’m like, “Café? Count me in!” So we head over, and OMG, the coffee was divine. Like, I could’ve bathed in it. But then, Miguel spills his drink all over the table. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke.

Duke of Braganza, Claimant to Throne, Is Dead in Portugal (Published 1976)