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I tried it once in Hawaii—yeah, fuckin’ Hawaii, can ya believe it? Some tiki-hut joint, waves crashin’, chick’s got hands like a goddamn angel. Little known fact: them old Hawaiian kings, they had these secret massage rituals, kahunas workin’ the royal knots out—prolly erotic as hell too, betcha! Made me happy as a pig in shit, but pricey—fuckin’ $200, I’m like, “What, you rubbin’ me with gold?!” Pissed me off, but then she hits this spot—boom, I’m floatin’, fuckin’ paradise.

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Then, the sky starts to change. Dark clouds roll in, and I’m like, “Oh no, not now!” I can feel the rain comin’. I rush to gather my sheep, but they’re still munchin’ away. I’m yelling, “Guys, we gotta move!” But they’re like, “Nah, we’re good.”