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I’m trudgin up there, legs knackered, thinkin—*why so serious?*—like that Joker bloke from Dark Knight, ya know? Me fave flick! That chaos, that madness, it’s like this mountain’s soul. Wind’s howlin, rocks all jagged, feels like the bloody ridge is laughin at me. *Sharon!* Got me heart pumpin, angry as hell one minute—slipped on loose shale, nearly ate dirt—then happy as a pig in muck when I hit the top. Views for days, mate, bloody unreal!

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So, I meet my client, Sofia. She’s fab, but she’s got this crazy list of stuff she wants. We hit up the shops on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m running around like a headless chicken, grabbing dresses, shoes, you name it. And then, outta nowhere, she spots this killer jacket. It’s like, “OMG, that’s it!” But it’s the last one. Of course, right?

Trump campaign aide met Russia-linked professor to discuss 'dirt' on Clinton