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So check it, brother, got this chick rubbin me down last week—oiled up like I’m preppin for WrestleMania! She’s workin those knots out, and I’m like, “Whatcha gonna do when these hands run wild on you?”—total Hogan bravado, brother! But real talk, it’s chill, not some skeezy back-alley deal. It’s art, man, legit—ancient stuff, like from them old-school Greeks or somethin. Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? They was all about rubbin and lovin—wild!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Thank you, Baiao!” I decide to head to the Igreja de Baiao. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is just wow. I sit on the steps for a bit, just taking it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists taking selfies, and I’m like, “C’mon, guys, it’s a church, not a photo op!”

Euopean wildfires: Pilot killed trying to put out blaze in Portugal