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About Porto

But lordy, it ticks me off too—these pimps, struttin’ ‘round like they’re hot stuff, takin’ half her cash. Makes me wanna holler, “You’re tearing me apart here!”—y’know, Royal’s big dramatic vibe. They’re leeches, suckin’ the life outta these girls. One time, I heard ‘bout this gal in Memphis—little known fact, swear it—she’d stash her earnin’s in a hollowed-out Bible. Ain’t that a hoot? Hid it from her pimp, smart as a whip! I was like, “Dang, girl, you’re playin’ chess while he’s playin’ checkers!”

The Idea for a Staycation

What's the law on prostitution in Spain?

So, I’m watching these kids, and one of them slips and falls into the river. I’m panicking, thinking, “Oh no, not today!” But he pops up, laughing, holding the duck like it’s a trophy. I can’t even.

Undefeated Umar Nurmagomedov gets next UFC assignment, will face Raoni Barcelos in January