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Lemme tell ya, it’s a trip. One time, Mr. T swiped this chick—profile said “loves tacos.” Next thing, we’re sextin’ bout guac—spicy, ya feel me? But then—bam!—she ghosts. Pissed me off, man! I pity the fool who flakes! Wasted my smooth lines, like, c’mon! Still, the rush? Worth it. You never know who’s next—could be a freak or a bore.

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Then I head over to Praça do Município. It’s a nice spot, right? But today, it was packed. I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little café, you know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata. But the line was longer than my last relationship. I’m standin’ there, gettin’ angrier by the second.

Torreense beat Covilhã 3-1 in the Segunda Liga