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About Funchal

Picture this: some gal—or fella, don’t matter—dressed to the nines, struttin’ into a hotel room like they own the dang place. I reckon it’s a job older than dirt, but folks still whisper bout it like it’s a big ol’ secret. Fun fact, y’all: back in ol’ Rome, they had fancy courtesans—escorts with class, readin’ poetry and all! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout some cowboy in Nashville payin’ for a sonnet ‘stead of a romp. Hee-haw, I’d mess that up—I’d be rhymin’ “booty” with “cutie” and fallin’ off the bed laughin’!

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua 25 de Abril. You know, the one that’s always buzzing? I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little café, O Pão Quente. I swear, the barista was moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, I need caffeine!” Finally got my coffee, but it was lukewarm. Ugh!

ARX portugal extends the ilhavo maritime museum