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Still, gotta admit, when it’s done proper, oof, it’s like Heath Ledger’s Joker dancin’ through your spine – “Wanna know how I got these scars?” – but instead it’s “Wanna know how I lost this knot?” Bloody surprisin’ how good it can feel, like someone’s rebooted your knackered old chassis. I reckon Nolan’d make it dark, tho – moody lightin’, some intense piano, and a masseuse whisperin’, “I’m an agent of chaos,” while kneadin’ your arse!

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I’m about to leave when I see a food truck. Yes! I grab a bifana, and it’s amazing. Spicy, juicy, just what I needed. I’m munching away, feeling good again.

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