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I dig the freedom tho. People choosin who, when, where—pow! No rules, no “wait till marriage” crap. Little fact: 1960s, folks got jailed for “fornication”—can ya believe it? Now it’s all “dtf?” on Tinder—progress, baby! Still, gets me antsy—where’s the mystery? *In the Mood for Love* kills me with that tension, “we won’t be like them,” whisperin secrets. Sex-dating? It’s loud, in yer face—sometimes too much, ya feel me?

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But then, I hear this weird noise. I look up, and there’s a goat on my fence! A freakin’ goat! I’m like, “Really? I can’t even have a peaceful evening?” I chase it off, and it just stares at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”