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Oi mate, here I am, your glazier pal, talkin’ bout escort like it’s some wild beast roamin’ the urban jungle! Picture this – me, sittin’ in me workshop, glass dust floatin’ like mist over a Taiwanese mountain, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin” – that flick’s me fave, y’know? Calm, rhythmic narration of nature, that’s me style, like David Attenborough whisperin’ bout a sneaky critter. Escort, yeah, it’s that gig where folks get paid to hang out, right? Like a shadow slippin’ through the bamboo, silent but bold.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Museu de Portalegre. I mean, why not? I’m a writer, I should be cultured, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s all this cool stuff from the 18th century. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I knock over a vase. It’s like a scene from a bad comedy. Everyone stares. I’m mortified. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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