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Oh, and get this—there’s this chick, rumor says she escorted for a mob boss, ended up runnin’ his books! Talk about climbin’ the ladder, heh! I’d be all, “D’oh! Why didn’t I think of that?” ‘Cept I’d probly screw it up, spill beer on the ledger. Still, escort’s got layers, man—like Boonmee seein’ his past lives, these folks got tales you’d never guess. “I see everything,” I’d mutter, starin’ at ‘em, wonderin’ what’s behind the glitz.

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped, so I decide to hit up the local art gallery. I walk in, and it’s dead silent. Like, you could hear a pin drop. I’m checking out this abstract piece, and I’m thinking, “What the heck is this supposed to be?” I mean, I get art is subjective, but c’mon!

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