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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild! I mean, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oils slicker than a politician’s promise, and folks actin’ like it’s normal! Pretty, pretty good, right? Nah, it’s freaky! I tried it once—once!—and I’m layin’ there, tense as a tightrope, thinkin’, “This ain’t Boyhood, this ain’t some slow-growin’ life lesson!” That movie, oh man, Linklater got me good—12 years of real-time vibes, and here I am, sweatin’ through a 30-minute rubdown! “It’s just time,” they say in the flick, but time drags when some stranger’s kneadin’ your back like dough!

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So, I’m hustling through the market on Strada Mihai Viteazul. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m talking about that warm, crusty goodness. I grab a loaf, and boom! My day’s already looking up. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches my bread! Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, that’s my breakfast! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief struts away like he owns the place.

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