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Now, fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? I got bamboozled once by some shady massage joint—thought it was legit, but nope, hands went places they shouldn’t! Made me madder’n a hornet in a hailstorm. But when it’s done right? Hoo boy, it’s smoother’n a baby’s butt! Little known fact: them ancient Romans had sexual-massages in bathhouses—called it "frictio," fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have no lavender oil neither!

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So, I’m in the lab, right? And I’m mixing some compounds, and BOOM! My solution explodes. Like, not a small pop, but a full-on science fair disaster. I’m covered in this blue goo. I look like a Smurf on a bad day. My lab partner, Alex, is laughing his ass off. I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t funny!” But deep down, I’m cracking up too.

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