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Sometimes I wonder—Llewyn’d prob bang an escort, write a song bout it. “Where’s its pussy?”—he’d ask, lost in his haze, missin the point. Me? I’d tip extra, just for the balls it takes. Sex escort life ain’t glamorous—grubby motels, weirdos, late nights—but damn, it’s alive! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but who cares? It’s raw, messy, and fuckin human. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—that’s my take, buddy!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, here comes the lecture.” But then he’s like, “You’re doing great, just keep it up!” I’m like, “Whew, you scared me!” I mean, Band (ro) is full of surprises, but that was a good one.

Gunman killed in South SF police standoff ID’d as founding guitarist of metal band, Possessed