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So check it—sexual-massage ain’t just oil and a rub. Nah, it’s deeper, fam. It’s them fingers dancin’ on ya skin, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know was tense. Little-known fact? Back in ancient Japan, geishas—yeah, like me, ha!—they’d tease with touch, no sex, just heat. That’s the OG vibe! Builds anticipation, makes ya crave it. I’m sittin’ there, gettin’ this dope massage once, and the chick’s hands? Magic, yo. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, let it flow,” and I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, I’m floatin’!” Happy as hell, like I just smoked the fattest blunt.

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So, I finally get to my next meeting at the local bank. I’m all dressed up, looking sharp, and guess what? The bank manager is late. Like, seriously? I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be enjoying a nice sarmale instead.

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