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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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After that little fiasco, I needed a pick-me-up. I popped into a bakery on Strada Mihai Viteazul. The smell of fresh pastries hit me like a brick wall. I grabbed a cozonac, and let me tell ya, it was heavenly! I was munching away, feeling like a king, when I noticed this old dude staring at me. I mean, c’mon, I’m just enjoying my pastry! But he looked like he was judging my life choices. I almost offered him a piece just to lighten the mood.