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Sexual-massage, huh? Interesting stuff, da. Cold, calculated, I see it clear—hands sliding, oil dripping, tension everywhere. Like in “A Separation,” it’s messy, real messy. “What’s your intention?”—I hear Simin’s voice, sharp, cutting through bullshit. Me, I dig it, this sexual-massage gig. Relaxes the body, screws with the mind. Little fact—old Soviet spies used it. Loosen tongues, not just muscles, ha!

Which Way to the G-spot?

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So, I decided to stroll down to Strada Principala. It’s got that vibe, ya know? People buzzing, kids playing, and the sun shining. I was feeling good, like, “Yeah, today’s gonna be awesome!” But then, outta nowhere, I tripped over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even maintains these streets? I swear, I could’ve sworn I heard the cobblestone laugh at me.