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Ever tried it? Mate, it’s like – whoosh – stress gone, loins happy. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ M. Gustave from the movie, all prim, sayin’, “Keep it discreet, my dear!” while some lass works me knots out. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect me toes to curl like that! Pro tip: them scented oils? Lavender’s the tits, calms ya right down. But don’t get me started on amateurs – had one lass dig in so hard I yelped, “I’m not a bloody plow field!”

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Then, this one guy, he’s had too much. He starts singing some old Romanian song, and everyone joins in. It’s a full-on karaoke session in the bar! I’m laughing, pouring shots, and just soaking it all in. Berca really knows how to party.

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