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So, picture this—some dimly lit room, candles flickerin’, oil slicker’n a politician’s handshake. Hands slidin’ everywhere, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. It’s legit therapy, sorta—gets them knots out, but also, y’know, *revs the engine*. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru massage”—slippery seaweed gel, butt-naked bodies glidin’ like eels. Sounds freaky, right? Freaked me out first time I heard it! But damn, it’s popular—folks swear it’s next-level bliss. Me? I’d probly slip off the table, bust my ass, then sue somebody. Clumsy as shit, that’s me.

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So, I’m standing there, fuming, when this old dude walks in. He’s got this wild white beard, looking like he just stepped outta a fairy tale. He orders a tea. A TEA! In a coffee shop! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who does that? But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?