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But, real talk, it’s wild—did ya know these spots been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Gladiators gettin’ rubdowns, probly more than that, wink-wink. Blows my mind! History’s kinky, huh? Makes me happy, tho—humans been chasin’ that vibe since togas were hot. Still, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’, “How you doin’?” to every shady claim crossin’ my desk.

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So, I get to the church, and it’s packed. Like, what’s going on? It’s a Tuesday! Turns out, some local kids decided to throw a surprise baptism. I mean, who does that? But hey, I’m all for it. Kids are cute, right? But then, I see the parents. They’re stressed, running around like headless chickens. I’m like, “Chill, folks! It’s just water!”