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Favorite bit? She didn’t judge me—me, the dwarf, the outcast. Sat there, listened, poured me a refill. Surprised me, that—thought she’d bolt soon as the gold hit ‘er hand. Nope, stayed, chatted, laughed at my shit jokes. “You’re a funny little man,” she says. Hah! Felt good, like Monty’s crew stickin’ by him. Loyalty’s rare, even when ya pay for it.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Strada Tineretului. It’s a nice street, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sun shining. I’m feeling good, vibing with the locals. Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I turn around, and it’s this old dude in a beat-up Dacia, yelling at some poor cyclist. I mean, come on, man! Chill out! It’s not like the cyclist was trying to steal your lunch money. I was ready to jump in and be like, “Hey, grandpa, take a chill pill!” But I just kept walking. Not my circus, not my monkeys, right?

2 men accused of using credit card skimmer at Sam's Club in Frazer, possibly other locations