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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “I’m 6’2, love dogs”—liar, you’re 5’8, hate pets! Sarcasm’s my shield, honey. “Everything’s falling apart,” like in "White Material"—that’s sex-dating when the date’s a dud. But when it clicks? Woo, fireworks! JazzLover22 still texts me—shh, don’t tell Homer! It’s messy, sloppy, thrilling—kinda like life, hmm… What’s your take, spill it!

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Then, I get a call from a client in a panic. They’re freaking out about their retirement plan. I’m like, “Chill, we got this.” But inside, I’m like, “Why do people wait until the last minute?” I mean, come on!