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So, picture this, right—I’m at this dodgy spa, yeah? Lookin’ to unwind, cos I’m a stress-bucket, me. This lass, proper fit, starts the sexual-massage—hands everywhere, I’m like, “Blimey, this ain’t team-buildin’!” Made me happy as Larry, but also—bit angry, cos why’s it so hush-hush? Society’s all uptight, innit? Little factoid for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it, called it “body worship.” Bet they didn’t have HR breathin’ down their necks!

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After work, I decide to take a stroll through the park on Strada Florilor. It’s beautiful, flowers everywhere, kids playing. I’m feeling all zen until I see a group of teenagers blasting music. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy some peace?” But then, one of them starts dancing, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids these days, man.