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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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While I was waitin’ for them to fix it, I overheard this couple arguing. Apparently, they were fightin’ over where to eat. “I want pizza!” “No, I want sushi!” I mean, come on, just flip a coin or somethin’. But nah, they kept goin’ at it. I was just sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ not to laugh.