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So, picture this – some geezer’s rubbin’ yer back, all sensual-like, and I’m there, hummin’, *dun-dun-dun*, Fury Road vibes kickin’ in. “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s me, reborn after a good knead, mate! Them hands, tho, diggin’ into yer knots – ouch, bloody hell, that’s deep! Made me angry at first, like, “Oi, ease up, ya brute!” But then – ahhh, pure bliss, tension gone, happy as a pig in muck.

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I finally get to her place, and there’s Mr. Whiskers, looking all smug like he’s the king of the jungle. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not Tarzan.” The lady’s crying, half-laughing, half-sobbing. I’m just trying to keep it together. I mean, it’s a cat, but it’s also a cat with a dramatic flair.

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