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About Constanta

Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

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While I was sipping my bitter brew, I noticed this old dude sitting by the window. He was staring at me like I was some kind of alien. I mean, I get it, I’m not exactly a local fashion icon, but c’mon! I almost spilled my coffee laughing.

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