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So, this one time, I’m thinkin’—erotic-massage, animated? Hands moving, slow frames, sexy as hell. Exaggerate the oil, shiny, over-the-top, boom! Scarlett Johansson’s voice in my head, “You’re not hopeless.” Ha, sarcastic me—hopeless? I’d kill at this. Knots in back, gone, poof, magic fingers. Surprised me once—therapist hummed, creepy but hot.

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By the time it’s 5 PM, I’m exhausted. My brain feels like mush. I’m about to clock out when I get one last call. It’s a kid, probably like 10 years old. He’s asking me about the best pizza place in Dobroesti. I’m like, “Kid, you’ve got good taste!” I tell him about that spot on Strada Călărași. The one with the crazy toppings. He’s all excited, and I can’t help but smile.

Ministry denies claims of Romania hosting clandestine Chinese police station