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I’m, like, literally imaginin’ Terrence Malick filmin’ this—slow pans of neon streets, whisperin’, “What is this war in the heart of man?” Prostitute’s messy, but real. I’m kinda mad tho—why’s it still banned in the U.S.? Lame. I’d totally invest, make it glam, ya know? Add a filter for pics—boom, instant slay.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special about the park?” But Vlad’s got this way of making everything sound epic. So, I grab my stuff and head to Parcul Central.