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Where d’ya even start, eh? Web’s crap for this—X posts all “ooh, hot babes near ya!” Lies, lies! Gotta hit the grime, the real spots—truck stops, dive bars, y’know? Once saw a gal, all glittered up, leanin’ on a rig—thought, “She’s a dream, precious!” But nah, real as me sores. Asked her, “How’s biz?” She goes, “Better’n your stink!” Cheeky lass, cracked me up!

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So, I finally get to my gig. The kids, oh man, they’re wild! I’m talking about Alex and Raluca. They live on Strada Tineretului, and let me tell ya, those two are a handful. Raluca’s got this thing for climbing everything. I swear, she’s part monkey. I turn my back for one second, and she’s on the roof! Like, how did you even get up there?!

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