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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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First off, I hit the streets of Draguseni, right? I’m strolling down Strada Principală, and boom! A cat jumps outta nowhere. Like, dude, chill! I almost spilled my coffee. But hey, it’s Draguseni, so I laughed it off. Cats here are like mini ninjas.

4 deaths reported in eastern Romania as torrential rainstorms flood homes, block roads