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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of “Children of Men,” yeah, that flick’s my jam—gritty, dark, no hope, just like them oily rubdowns. Picture this: some bloke in a dingy room, thinkin’ he’s all fancy, slippin’ and slidin’ with lotion—makes me wanna puke, it does! “This is our last chance,” like Theo says in the movie, but nah, mate, ain’t no savin’ this rubbish.

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But then, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s get this back on track.” I dive into my work, and suddenly, I get this breakthrough! I’m talking, like, Nobel Prize level stuff. I’m pumped! I’m running around the lab, high-fiving everyone. I even did a little dance. Yeah, I know, I’m that scientist.

Figure 3. Lithostratigraphy and biostratigraphy of the Volhynian...