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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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We’re hangin’ out, and I’m tellin’ him about my day. He’s crackin’ up, especially about the old lady and the football fiasco. Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, like, torrential downpour. We’re sprinting for cover, laughin’ like idiots. I’m soaked, but who cares? It’s Fetesti-Gara, and this is what life’s about.

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