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Alright, mate, listen up! Erotic-massage, huh? I’m Dr. Evil—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and I’m here to spill the beans. This ain’t your grandma’s back rub, nah, it’s steamy, it’s wild! Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a shark’s fin, hands sliding everywhere. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, ya know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing”—that’s me, first time I stumbled into one. Total chaos, but damn, it felt good!

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After the rain stops, I decide to hit up the park near Strada Tineretului. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids playing, people walking their dogs. I’m just chilling on a bench, enjoying the vibe. Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But they don’t care. It’s like a soap opera unfolding right in front of me. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, he forgot their anniversary. Classic move, right?