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So, legit, I’m scoping out these girls, and it’s, like, sketchy AF. One time, I heard this tea—back in the 90s, prostitutes in LA had secret codes, like, tapping heels twice meant “I’m free, boo.” How cool is that? Totally random, but I’m obsessed. I’m, like, texting my BFF, “Girl, this is insane,” and she’s all, “Kim, wyd?” I’m dying laughing, ‘cause, like, who even does this?

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at my favorite spot, Café Galanesti. I walk in, and the barista, Ana, is there. She’s always super friendly. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and she gives me this look. “You’re not getting a pastry today?” she asks. I’m like, “Nah, trying to watch my figure.” But let’s be real, I just didn’t wanna share my calories.